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wrong menu (extract)
This is the beginning of the book, where Ralph takes his first
step towards gaining control of the restaurant.
Alberto Laurenzo took one faltering step and winced; his face
red and distorted. Close by, a middle-aged man, up to now enjoying
what he had hoped would be a discreet meal with his long time lover,
looked on horrified. Alberto’s chubby hands let go of the
two plates of food he’d been carrying to their table and
clutched his chest. His cry was masked by the clatter of the broken
crockery as the dishes fell to the floor. Lurching out of control,
he fell forward, knocking over the glasses, cutlery and dinner
plates from the table of the man and his mistress. A ghastly thump,
and then he was slumped, face down on the carpet, motionless.
The woman from the table close to where Alberto had fallen yelled
out to her dumbstruck partner to help her. She was on her feet
and reaching down to the poor man’s inert body, lying face
down amongst the remains of Braciolette Di Maiale Al Rosso and
Scaloppine Di Pollo Con Erbe. Amidst the nauseating amalgam of
the two classic Italian dishes, smeared into the thick pile of
the carpet and splattered all over Alberto, were various size shards
of broken glass and white china. The woman looked down upon an
eerie and grisly sight.
At once people were on their feet; some rushing to offer assistance,
others ghoulishly pushing and shoving their way towards the circle
that had quickly surrounded the fallen restaurateur, not wanting
to miss out on the action. At first the waiters tried to carry
on as normal, collecting plates laden with steaming food or carrying
trays of glasses and bottles of wine from the servery. Very quickly
they realised it was all a waste of time. If they managed to breach
the throng blocking their path, they’d find the diners had
left their tables. Once the first waiter had turned back they all
remained passively in a line by the kitchen, starring aghast at
the proceedings. It was pandemonium.
‘Excuse me,’ Ralph Launcier said authoritatively as
he broke through the assembled crowd. He stopped abruptly. He raised
both his hands and placed one on each cheek, letting out an audible
gasp. ‘I’ll take over, Mr Thompson,’ he said
quickly as he stepped forward to where the middle aged guy from
the nearest table was trying to raise Alberto’s lifeless
body from the gungy mess beneath and around him. Within seconds
Ralph had raised Alberto to a sitting position. ‘Could I
ask you to move away,’ he said with a touch of annoyance
to the small circle of people who had gathered to watch.
Most looked embarrassed. ‘Of course,’ ‘yes,’ and ‘I’m
sorry,’ could be heard mumbled softly as they shuffled away.
Some took the hint and started to walk slowly back to their tables,
others stood in cliques about a metre away and pretending not to
look as they gossiped and speculated about Alberto. The consensus
was that he was dead.
A youngish man, mid thirties, wearing an aviator style leather
jacket, a casual denim shirt and a pair of jeans and accompanied
by a woman, dressed in a black long sleeve blouse and black trousers,
both of them with bright and expectant expressions, came in the
front door. They stopped at the spot where normally Alberto or
Ralph would greet them. They glanced around the restaurant and
then back at each other. Both looked equally bewildered and confused.
One of the guests sidled up to them and, in hushed tones, passed
on his view of what had taken place. Shock horror appeared on the
couple’s faces. Quietly they said a few words to each other
and left. A few of the customers who had seen them leave took it
as their own cue to depart. While others followed, most stood around
in small groups expecting some sort of announcement. Faintly in
the distance an ambulance siren could be heard.
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